Hey Y'all!
I've always wondered if I would ever actually get to this point, You just really don't think it will ever end. Now that I am here I am almost speechless as to what I should write home and say. I know that whatever I try and come up with won't justify and express my love for the past 18 months, but it's worth a shot... right?
This last week has been unreal. Every emotion I could possibly feel has been felt. There have been moments of sadness and anxiety, joy and excitement, heartache and pain, love and peace. One moment I will be so sad to leave that I start crying, the next I am ready to do a cart-wheel, (but then I remember I'm in a skirt and no one needs to see that.) It has been the best last week of my life.
This last week has been unreal. Every emotion I could possibly feel has been felt. There have been moments of sadness and anxiety, joy and excitement, heartache and pain, love and peace. One moment I will be so sad to leave that I start crying, the next I am ready to do a cart-wheel, (but then I remember I'm in a skirt and no one needs to see that.) It has been the best last week of my life.
As Wednesday hit last week, I realized it was the start of my "last days".... my last day at bingo, last time visiting our favorite less actives, last door slammed in my face on an early saturday morning... and my heart felt heavy and a lump was in the back of my throat, at any moment I could have broken down. A thought came to me, that wasn't my own.... the Lord told me this, "Your mission has been nothing but joy and peace, end the way you have served; happily". From that moment on, it really has been nothing but happiness. This mission that the Lord has allowed me to serve has brought me the greatest joy in the entire world becaue I have come to know some pretty great things....
I am happy to not only have hope and faith that God exists, but to know that He is real. He is my Father and loves me. I know that I come from Heavenly Parents and that their love for me, as imperfect as I am, is eternal. I know that God loves all his children..... and that His love can be felt as we turn to him.
There is no greater joy than to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of the Almighty Father and that He is our Savior. I know that His Atonement is the best thing that we each have because it testifies of the love that both our Father, and the Son have for us. He came to Earth to live and to die for each of us, I know that even though it was not easy for Him, He was happy to do it because of the happiness that it brings to us, the hope and light of forgivesness, eternal life and eternal families, and peace amidst the chaos.
How could I find happiness if I didn't know that God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to a young boy and restored everything back to Earth? The Priesthood is back on the Earth.
There is joy found in the knowledge of living Prophets, as well as having the accounts of Prophets of old found in the Book of Mormon and Bible. God has spoken to His people, and still does.
The Plan of Happiness is just that, and is the Fathers Plan for us to bring about our Salvation.
There is no greater news than the good news of the Gospel of Christ and that we can become like Him as we do as he commands.
Obedince to the commandmetnts, laws, and ordinaces of the Gospel allow blessings, and in return, allow joy to be felt.
Obedince to the commandmetnts, laws, and ordinaces of the Gospel allow blessings, and in return, allow joy to be felt.
Eternal Families = Happiness
When you are in the service of your fellow beings you are only in the service of your God. If I didn't know this before serving a mission, I do now. No greater joy has come to me in this life then it has as I have served the Lord and my brohters and sisters. I have seen the Gospel change the lives of broken and whole people, from that, it has changed me.
The bottom line of everything I am trying to say here is that this life is about finding out these truths, because they make you happy. I knew these things 18 months ago, but I go home with a far greater understanding of the connection between my eternal happiness and my testimony of eternal truth. Beause I have felt, experienced, and seen what I have here in Georgia I am happier. This happiness isn't the kind that fades, this is the the joy that can be felt forever.
18 months is an inspired amount of time. I came here and did what the Lord needed me to do. I know that if I stayed longer I wouldn't be where the Lord needs me. I have no regrets at the end and feel so grateful for that! I am ready to go home. 78 weeks ago I entered the MTC. While I was there, the group of missionaries I came out with gathered one night and at my request, sang my all-time favorite hymn, "O My Father". I think I was the only one who really knew how the song went, but as we sung it I realized that this song is about being homesick. Not the homesickness that a new missonary feels as she leaves her family for a year a half, the kind of homesickness felt by children of God as they are away from their loving Heavenly Father, going through tough challenges and trials here on Earth. What else I realized though, is that the Gospel is the connection back to the Father, and as they come to know of it.... that hurting becomes less and less. As missionaries, we were being sent to Georgia to remind people of their home; of their Celestial Family.
O my Father, thou that dwellest
O my Father, thou that dwellest
In the high and glorious place,
When shall I regain thy presence
And again behold thy face?
In thy holy habitation,
Did my spirit once reside?
In my first primeval childhood
Was I nurtured near thy side?
For a wise and glorious purpose
For a wise and glorious purpose
Thou hast placed me here on earth
And withheld the recollection
Of my former friends and birth;
Yet ofttimes a secret something
Whispered, "You're a stranger here,"
And I felt that I had wandered
From a more exalted sphere.
I had learned to call thee Father,
I had learned to call thee Father,
Thru thy Spirit from on high,
But, until the key of knowledge
Was restored, I knew not why.
In the heav'ns are parents single?
No, the thought makes reason stare!
Truth is reason; truth eternal
Tells me I've a mother there.
This song has carried me through this Mission. It has changed my experience and my view.
This song has carried me through this Mission. It has changed my experience and my view.
The last verse, however, is carrying me through the bitter-sweet end...
When I leave this frail existence,
When I lay this mortal by,
Father, Mother, may I meet you
In your royal courts on high?
Then, at length, when I've completed
All you sent me forth to do,
With your mutual approbation
Let me come and dwell with you.I know that I've completed here in Georiga all that the Lord sent me to. And now, it's OK to go home and dwell with my Father, Mother, and the rest of my family and friends.
This mission has inspired a patter of living. At the end of my life, I want to have the exact same sense of readiness, peace, and excitement to return home to my Celestial Family as I do right this very moment.
This is the happiest hurting I've ever experienced. How wonderful is that?
I am unbelievably grateful for eveything, literally everything, the Lord has blessed me with. I am changed forever.
I love you all! Thank you for your support and love. We did it!
-Sister Beasley