I have grown so much and truly realized who I am and what my purpose is. Here is my week in a nutshell...
It was rough. I had a tough, tough time. Throughout this week we lost some of our investigators.. we had days where no one was receptive to our message... we rode our bikes in 100 degree weather in skirts for 12 miles... I was ornery.. I was sad... I had days where I honestly, at the end of the day, asked myself "Wait.. I signed up for this? What am I doing here?" My atttide was horrible. Finally my companion asked "Sister Beasley, why are you here?" Now I had already asked myself this question and struggled to find an answer but when she asked me my heart softened and I remembered that it was because I love Jesus Christ. When I gave her that answer she said "You may not be seeing baptisms, we may have hardships, but as long as you show other people that love for the Savior you have done your job."
My attitude changed and things got better... by the end of that day all I could do was feel blessed.
I saw some pretty cool things happen... We were allowed in homes, we were able to teach families, they were receptive to our message. We have been teaching a man named Eric and his family. He has two autistic sons and they live in an apartment that may as well be third world. At the end of our lesson he included in the prayer "please bless my sisters and your daugthers" .. he even included "please watch over their familes".
Can you feel it? Can you feel the love of our Savior and the love that I am experiencing? I hope so.... because this is unlike anything that I have ever felt.
On Saturday evening, well let me just say... Saturday all together was a day of miracles and I even wrote in my journal "I wish that everday was exactly like May 25, 2013. But then again if that was how it was I know that as missionaries we would be like Adam and Eve before they were cast out of Garden - today I saw no oposition."
Right before we headed home for the evening we were lead to a complex... We heard the sound of children and knew that was where we needed to be. We knocked the door and a lady named Bijoux opened the door.. she is from the Congo and has 4 boys (2 sets of twins) she allowed us in to say a prayer. The crazy fun chaos went to a minimum as we gathered together to kneel and pray and Sister Hamilton offered the best prayer. The spirit was so strong... when the prayer was over we took a moment and asked how they felt. This sweet Mama began to weep.. and still on her knees hugged each of us with her entire soul, she then explained how she needed that and that she knew we were sent from God at that time. She talked about how she was supposed to be away on a vacation but decided to cancel last minue.. that her boys were supposed to be at their Dad's home and instead were home and the reason we came, because of the sound of their voices.. that she had been at the grocery store only moments before.. and that she needed what we said. As I hugged her I was moved to tears. I didn't know her and yet this woman was my sister. Not only did we know that this moment was provided to us from God, but so did she. In fact, she noticed it before we could even think it. We told her we would come back Sunday and teach more..
So yesterday, we went and taught her after church. The spirit was so strong... We taught by the spirit, in fact there were moments where I wanted to stop and say, "Can you feel that?" but I knew they could by the looks on their face. The boys were not there and it was only her and her sister...they had great questions.. Sister Hamilton and I taught in unity... The lesson COULD NOT have gone any better... and at the end they told us that they could not read the Book of Mormon because they already love Jesus Christ.
I thought heartbreak took place when a dumb boy breaks up with you... I had no clue that I would feel something similar to that when they handed me back the book that would allow them to know Jesus Christ even better.
What a miracle... that I am among people who are rejecting this message NOT becuse of their pride ... but because they feel that they are already close enough to Jesus Christ. I am in the midst of the most beautiful spirits on this Earth. I am with my brothers and sisters.
I love this gospel so much and I love sharing it every single day. Being a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ is the most rewarding and excellent thing that I have ever done.
I would love to get some letters! Please send me one either by mail or email! I miss you all and hope that whatever you are doing in life is bringing you joy. Forget about happiness and find ONLY things that make you joyous. Life is too short to be doing anything less.
I love you all and am praying for you.