Monday, August 12, 2013

Choose To Realize That Heavenly Father Is Aware

Hey Y'all!
I've been trying to think of what to write home for the past few days and honestly... not a lot has been coming to me. This week was a little bit tough, a few people told us that they no longer want to meet with us, we had appointment after appointment cancel on us, and finding new people to teach didn't come easy, in fact- it didn't come at all! And my friends, well, that is missionary life. :) Somehow though, even in the struggles, the Lord blesses us. I swear I have different eyes out here because I am seeing more and more just how aware the Lord is of each and every one of us. This week we met one really awesome man named Luis. Luis was excited to have us come back and teach him more but he was never home when we would go back. This became frustrating, especially because we had scheduled appointments. On one attempt to visit with him we didn't know what else to do.. so I remembered the words that President Wolfert had said to us at some meeting or another. "When your appointments fall through, knock doors in that area. The Lord knew that you were going to be there at that time and he knew that you would not be teaching someone. He has someone else you need to see." So... We decided on a street and started to knock. Guess what happened!?! - No one was home. And when people were home they weren't excited about the fact that the Lord had sent two young girls to their home to bless it. As you can probably tell, even in my typed words, I started to murmur in my mind. I tried my best to just continue on and not let the disappointment overpower me and my companion. By the time we got to the next street we were exhausted, glistening (because women in the south don't sweat, "they glisten") and a little defeated. We knocked on a door and expected it to be like all the others, this one was different. A little boy answered and we asked if we could talk to his Mom. A lady who looked almost as tired as we were came to the door and we told her who we were.. she said she could really use a prayer and invited us in. Once we were in her home she began to cry and told us that their family was really struggling... and that their oldest son had gotten into drugs and that the night before they had a huge fight and he asked to move out. So... she needed peace.We said the prayer and she cried the entire time. What was supposed to be a 10 minute prayer and meeting ended up being a 45 minute lesson on having hope and introducing the Book of Mormon. Our friend Angela was skeptical about us coming back to teach us more, but she did say that this was a sign.
That it was. It was a sign to not only her.. but to us as well. Even as missionaries, who are set apart representatives of the Lord Jesus Christ.... we are so imperfect. We can't even begin to comprehend just how "aware" God is of us all. He is working through us even when we don't realize it! He knew that we would be in that area...He knew that his daughter Angela was hurting and that she needed to feel loved... He knew that we needed to be humbled and then lifted up. We do have her number and hopefully she will let us come back.

Our sweet investigator Kathy, that I wrote about last week, dropped us and told us that she doesn't want us to come back until she figures things out. As a mission we do something at the end of each lesson called "inoculating". We tell them that opposition is going to come and prep them for it so that they can work their way through it. I have found that this is probably one of the most important steps in our lesson.
Heavenly Father is blessing each of us every single day...He is aware of us, He wants us to be happy, He wants us to know of truth and goodness but unfortunately... the adversary is aware of this as well.. and wants the complete and total opposite. He wants us to be confused.. he wants us to be miserable... and he wants to hinder our progression.  He will do all that he can to crush our faith. When we are right on the brink of ultimate happiness... he creeps in and fills our minds with questions and makes us feel far away from our Heavenly Father and Savior. Let this be a warning.. There are good things ahead and also some trials! I want each of you to "be aware". Be aware that God loves you. Be aware that Satan doesn't. Be aware that happiness comes with trials and tests, but a reward at the end. Be aware that misery comes with broken hearts and darkness... and emptiness at the end. Choose goodness. Choose God. Chose to wade through the trials. Choose to not sink. Choose to keep going. Choose to see the light at the end. Choose to hold on! I promise if we make the hard choices with the reminder that God is holding one of our hands.. and the Savior is holding the other, we can't fail.

I love you all. Or, as these crazy Southerners say... "I love y'all."
So, so much.

-Sister Beasley

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