Monday, June 9, 2014

Bitter Moments and Sweet Lessons Learned

To My Wonderful People Wherever You May Be...

I have never really understood the saying "bitter-sweet" until I came on a mission....

On Friday we had a meeting with our Mission President and his wife. At the end of the meeting President Wolfert asked if he could talk to me and pulled me into a separate room. Of course I thought I was in trouble for something because well, we all know me... President Wolfert sat me down and told me how grateful he was for my service, attitude, and friendship. He then told me that the day before my Great Grandpa passed away. Tears filled my eyes as I sat there, but an overwhelming feeling of the purest gratitude I have ever felt filled my heart. A million things ran through my mind, but the biggest thing that stuck out was, "He is Home, He is with Granny, He didn't have to suffer." Of course the heartache of loss and grief was among those feelings as well, but I was just so grateful to hear that he didn't have to suffer for long and that He is now in a better place. President Wolfert then asked me to share a few things about him and as I tried my hardest to speak through the tears that wouldn't stop, I was able to tell him that my Grandpa was the most giving and humble person in the entire world, that he would do anything for anyone he met, and that he lived a good and strong and meaningful and full life. 95 years of life, the way every person should live.. how amazing is that? I then told him about Papa and Granny and how they were a team, and united in everything, and how that is all I can think about, them being together. President Wolfert then told me something that I will never forget... that My Grandpa is now a lot closer, and that I better shape up! We both laughed, and yet.. I know that to be true! My Grandpa lives such an amazing life and set a good example that I better follow! I know that both him and Gran are so close and cheering me and the rest of my family along this journey, both on the mission and in life! Each of us have angels to see that we make it back Home!
On Saturday we were visiting a member and talking strictly about missionary work! Of course my heart was still aching but I was doing OK. At the end of our time in their home I went to share a message, and randomly he handed me and my companion a tile with this quote printed on it from Elder Holland-
"In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil, and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike--and they will--you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection. They will always be there, these armies of heaven, in defense of Abraham's seed.”At this point I was a disaster and crying, mainly because I knew that Heavenly Father inspired Him to share that with me! he then quoted D&C 84:88 which says this.....And whoso receiveth you, there will be also, for will go before your face. will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.

What a blessing that is to know! So... this week for work wasn't the best, I don't have a miracle story or even any investigators to tell you about, but I know that they are on their way. This has been one of the hardest weeks of my mission. With that, let me say how grateful I am for challenges and trials and hardships and loss... because they bring blessings, and they bring understanding about the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I wish the mission was easy, I wish life was easy... but at the same time, what would be the point? We are here to learn and grow and struggle so that we can come to understand why our Heavenly Father sent us here. This week, I have learned a lot.The feeling of bitterness has come over me as the work has been slow and as the life of my amazing great grandpa has come to an end.... and yet, sweetness has filled my heart as I look forward to having more help than ever, and having more faith that ever, knowing that good things are to come.

I know I am where I need to be. I know that there are people who need the understanding that comes from having the Plan of Salvation and the Atonement. I love you all. I love this work. I am grateful for our Savior more than ever. Please pray that me and my companion will be lead to and find people who are searching for something to turn bitter moments into sweet lessons learned.

-Sister Beasley

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